I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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