He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize