i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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