a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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