I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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