i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
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I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
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The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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