is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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