And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize