It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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