Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize