Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you never un-have a 4some
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize