pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
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all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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