Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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