and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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