You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
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The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
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By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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