Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
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Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
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why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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