whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize