ya dads aren't the best wingmen
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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