Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize