I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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