We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize