I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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