If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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