Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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