matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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