I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
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At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
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Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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