haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize