Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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