you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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