guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize