i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
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just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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