he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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