After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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