Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
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Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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