You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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