You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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