and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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