How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize