just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
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