Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize