dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize