so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
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How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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