put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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