I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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