this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize