youre lurking in front of me
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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