What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize