Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize