What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize