i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize